MONDAY, MARCH 19, 2018
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Verbal entree?

Women often liken the process of seduction and lovemaking to fine dining: Creating the mood (the perfect ambience), verbal stimulation and physical foreplay (entrees), sex positions she'll love (the main course), post-coital cuddling (dessert) and a midnight snack (the espresso to wrap it all up). Hence, if you really want to show her a fine time under the sheets, there's no better way than to offer her a Michelin-star seduction experience right in the bedroom.

Create the mood for love
Nearly every fine-dining restaurant prides itself in its unique ambience. Here's what you can do to create the mood for love. First, spread clean bed sheets. Then, use the right amount of light and appropriate music to set the tone for the evening. Dim the lights in the room; she'll like the mood but will still want to see that you're there.

As for music, play her favourite CD or preferred music genre. A study from the Long Island Conservatory showed that participants who listened to familiar music had lower anxiety levels and blood pressure than those who listened to music they didn't like. "The emotional response triggers a profound physiological response," says George Stefano, lead author of the study. "It's a feel-good system that allows us
to relax."

To get her to relax faster, drip a few drops of aromatherapy oil, or spray a light fragrance on the pillow or on your wrists-enough for her to be able to smell it but not too much that it chokes her. The right scents will probably do wonders for her.

Entree: Give her some aural
Once she's with you in the bedroom, serve up some aural seduction. Get her even more aroused by telling her what you have in store for her. The areas in the brain related to language are larger in women than in men, studies have found. "It's a novel turn-on if you can articulate your passion in a way that engages her," says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD.

Start by lightly touching her wrist, a surprisingly erogenous area. Blow on it and lick it softly. "Any area with fine, downy hair is going to respond best to a light, almost non-existent touch," says Indore-based sexologist Dr Mahesh Nawal. "Just stimulate the hairs and you'll give her shivers."

Next, rub, massage or fondle her lower back. This is a major erogenous zone for women. It'll stimulate her pelvic muscles and make her feel more relaxed. And when she's relaxed, stroke her inner thighs in the direction of her vagina with your fingers barely touching her skin, occasionally using your lips instead of fingers. "This will transmit a very different sort of sensation than if you're actually making contact," says Nawal.

Main course: Don't forget the spoon
When it comes to this in the bedroom, variety is the spice of life for women. The more effort you put into varying the sexual experience (including oral sex, intercourse, manual stimulation and others), the more she'll appreciate it and the more likely she'll reach orgasm, found a US survey. When it comes to positions, however, "there's no need to be overly fancy during sex," says Logan Levkoff, a sexologist and author of Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be. "The very best positions are the ones that focus on the clitoris."

Believe it or not, the good old missionary position is a favourite. Women love the face-to-face intimacy. But instead of thrusting, slide your body up along her torso so that your shoulders are past hers, and move your hips slowly in a small circle, letting your pubic bone stimulate her clitoris, says Nawal.

The Spoon is another position that she'll love. To women, it's not only physically arousing but also extremely intimate. Ears are portals to two forms of arousal: physical (reflexogenic) and mental (psychogenic), says Dr Nawal. "And it feels very intimate to let a person that close," she adds. Your hand is also free to caress her breasts or work her clitoris if you're in the Spoon. Breathe and whisper into her ear. Touch and lick her earlobes. "There are people who can actually climax just from stimulation of the earlobes," says Dr Nawal.

Dessert: Be ready to serve seconds

If she climaxes in the Spoon position, you'll be in the ideal post-coital place-which is perfect for cuddling. According to a Men's Health sex survey, more than 50 per cent of women say they want about 20 minutes of cuddling, or for their men to stay awake for some conversation after sex. It might be hard for you to stay awake after intercourse, but no waiter worth his salt falls asleep on the job! If she wants to sleep, make sure she falls asleep before you.

But if she wants to get out of bed, offer to clean her up, give her a shower or offer to towel-dry her body, clothe her in a bathrobe. If she agrees to jump into the bath with you, towel-dry her hair after you both are done. Then massage her hairline at the nape, moving from her hair to her bare neck.

"You're stroking the junction of two different tissue types," says Dr Nawal. "Stimulating this border region produces an arousing mix of sensations." This area is also an erogenous zone, so be prepared to serve seconds.

Post-dinner snacks: Fix the next date
Have some light food and drinks (such as cheese and wine) prepared for her in advance. While she's snacking, arrange the next date. "It validates that there was an emotional connection as well as a physical spark," says Diane Mapes, author, How to Date in a Post-dating World, "whereas 'I'll call you later' is code for 'goodbye and good luck.'"

Remember the aromatherapy oil or fragrance? A scented sachet in her bag or her drawer is all she needs to recall your efforts. "If she was sexually aroused by the scent in the past, reintroducing it will create the same arousal because scent and emotions are handled by the same part of the brain," says Dr Alan Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, US.

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